In End Love Is All That Matters

When I was 16 my grandmother was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. At that point in my life I was struggling a lot and had a really hard time thinking about anything but my own problems. There was also a lot of conflict in my family at the time as well. I had a very hard time accepting my grief and it kept me from fully connecting with her in her last months of life. When I was kid she’d always have these large puffy coats. She’d always come out to visit us in Colorado, when she got out of the car she exclaimed me and my brothers names with such joy and love and we’d get wrapped up in her coat like being hugged by a warm gentle cloud. When we were at her house my brothers and I would all pile into her bed and listen to her read, getting transported to other times and places. When I was a teenager I remember getting into a fight with my parents when we were visiting her. Instead of judging me for my behavior she kindly and intently listened to me and I felt all of the anger I had been feeling melt away. She was by no means perfect and I learned about a lot of conflict and family grudges right after her diagnosis. I truly wish I had been able to put all that aside as well as my own inner conflict and truly be with her for those last couple of months. I regret that I wasn’t able to be there in her final moments, but my father told me that when she passed on our whole family gathered around her and sang to her, at the moment all of the drama and stress melted away and they just got to be a family together celebrating the life of someone we all loved very much.